The Dream!

Do you have a dream? Ok, not just your dream, but dreams or goals you have as a couple? Chances are if you are not nurturing your marriage through healthy conversations and regular date nights, you might be missing a big opportunity to share common dreams and goals!

If you are answering "no" be reassured that despite personality differences or even if you are growing apart, sharing a dream can be a game changer to strengthening your relationship and bringing it closer.

Date: Star Gazing! OK, it's free and available to you every night of the week it is not cloudy! Get a babysitter (if needed) and plan a drive to the country. Pick your favorite "take out" and pick it up on your way out of town. The country provides fabulous views of the night sky with out light pollution and interruptions.

Challenge: Discuss on the way to your destination:

1. How was your day? (sympathize, celebrate, and care for eachother with out judgement as to where the other person is at! Pack away these topics once you arrive. The goal is to STOP everyday life and reset the conversational table with the new possibilities...

2. When you arrive: enjoy your food (if you have not eaten it already) Share a story with eachother: something you remember when you were first dating that INSPIRED you about the other person. It could be something they did, said, achieved, cared about, etc. Really LISTEN when the other person is talking. THANK THEM for sharing. It affirms what they said to you.

3. Be Quiet: give yourself at least 5 minutes, just to look at the stars Empty your mind a bit, and just let your eyes stretch out and beyond what you can see. If "tasks" of the day keep bugging you, put it on the side mentally or write it down and physically put it on the side. Keep going back to quiet.

4. Now think of a dream you have for you and your significant other that you would like to see come to pass in the future. It may be big, or small. Just make sure you RESPECT what the other person is saying. Don't worry if it is bigger than you could imagine, this is time to brainstorm. Now, share your dream and LISTEN again, to the other person with out interrupting. Repeat it back to them no matter how crazy it sounds. But don't critique.

5. Now let the other person share- same thing as above.

6. Now digest: Ask the other person what they see is a p

ossibility or steps toward that dream? Is it something you can share as a dream or even reachable in your lifetime? If unrealistic, then is there a different smaller version of that dream that could be attainable?

So if you do not share a common dream is that the end of it? NO! By all means there are reasons why we may even have large differences in our dreams: gifts and talents we have, careers, personalities, etc.

7. Affirm your partner and thank them for sharing. No matter what the outcome is, whether you make plans to proceed or not, you can celebrate the other persons hopes and dreams and even come back to it later.

Who knows, allowing this sense of intimacy of thought could re-engage you as a couple or even rekindle ideas, romance, and care for each other! It could be just the positive charge you need to take the next step forward together!

Need help? Not connecting? Not seeing what you started with? Again - great news! We at Great Marriages and mentor and coach you in the right direction. Just give our offices a call at 920.783.6142 for more information!